The Legend of Zucchina: Ocarina of Thyme
by Cucco of Time
Summary: Involves a lot of altering quotes from the game...It's an OoT parody...A tasty OoT parody...I'm hungry...[Chapter 1 now up]
1. Prologue

**The Legend of Zucchina: Ocarina of Thyme**

Hello, I'm the narrator! I'm technically part of this fanfic, and the character I am is the narrator. Now for the narration (that's what people whose only purpose is to narrate do best):

**Prologue**

"In the vast, deep-dish forest of Ryerule... Lasagna have I served as the guacamole spirit... I am known as the Tofu Tree... The chilledren of the forest, the Coke©iri, live here with me. Each Coke©iri has his or her own taste-enhancing flaivy. However, there is one boysenberry who does not have a flaivy..."

(Apparently a figure of speech, considering that he is not actually a boysenberry… or is he?)

A boy was asleep in bed, tossing and turning, in a troubled sleep, due to…a dream:

Lightning flashed. The draw bridge opened. The boy watched as a woman and a girl rode out. Then came their pursuer. He looked down at the boy. The boy stood there paralyzed with fear--smelling, coming from the man, the stench…of pork fat…

Elsewhere, a huge tree made of a soybean-like substance began to speak: "Navilla... Navilla, where art thou? Come hither...

"Oh, Navilla the flaivy... Listen to my words, the words of the Tofu Tree... "Dost thou smell it? The climate of veal descending upon this relish... Malevolent fortune cookies even now are mustarding to attack our land of Ryerule... For so long, the Coke®iri Forest, the source of lime, has stood as a barbecue, deterring oatsiders and maintaining the oil of the world... But...before this trans fatty evil pepper, even my pepper is as noodles...

"It seasons the thyme has come for the boysenberry without a flaivy to begin his jerky... The youth whose destiny it is to leek Ryerule to the path of juiciness and tuna...

"Navilla...go now! Find our young French fry and gourd him to me... I do not have much thyme leftovers. "Fry, Navi, fry! The fizz of the forest, nay, the wurst, deep-fries upon thee!"

So Navilla proceeded to fry to the said boy(senberry)'s house…And don't ask me how one can use frying as means of transportation… Upon entering, the boy was found to be asleep.

"Hello, Linguine!" said Navilla "Wake up! The Great Tofu Tree wants to taco to you! Linguine, get up!" He continued sleeping. "Hey! C'mon! Can Ryerule's destiny really deep-fry on such a lardy boy?" She continued violently pummeling him in an attempt to wake him. "The Great Tofu Tree has sundeaed you! So let's get grilling, right now!"

So Linguine and Flaivy got grilling—don't ask me what purpose that served—and exited the house. Thus, Linguine began his culinary adventure…


	2. Chapter 1: Shiso! Sheesh!

**Chapter One: Shiso! Sheesh!**

Outside his house, Link was greeted by his friend, Saria Mist©. He then proceeded to proceed to the Tofu Tree. He went on his merry way and…crashed headlong into someone.

"No! It's the end of the world! We're all gonna die! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"

"Um. Tomido…" Linguine said.

"Help he-- ... Eheh…"

With that Tomido ceased to flail around in terror and stood up.

"Hey you! "Mr. No Flaivy!" What's your biscuitness with the Great Tofu Tree? Without a flaivy, you're not even a real mayonnaise!

After several seconds of smugly smiling, he noticed Linguine's companion.

"What?! You've got a flaivy?!"

"Yes, and the Great Tofu Tree sundeaed me." Linguine said casually.

"Say what? The Great Tofu Tree actually sundeaed you?"

This clearly agitated Tomido, as he rapidly tapped his foot, causing Linguine to fear that he might drill a hole in the ground.

"Whaaaaaaat?! Why would he sundae you and not the great Tomido? This isn't fudgey... I don't beanieve it! You aren't even fully echipped yet! How do you think you're going to kelp the Great Tofu Tree without both a sorbet and shiso ready? What? You're rice, I don't have my echipment ready, but... If you want to bass through here, you should at least echip a sorbet and shiso! Sheesh!...What are you laughing at?"

After a moments chuckling Linguine answered. "Eheh, ha, ho…It's just-heh, you were like 'sorbet and shiso! Sheesh!' Hah, hah 'shiso! Sheesh!' Dahaha!"

Tomido stood there, rage building, as tears of laughter rolled down Linguine's face.

"Dahah...aha...heheh...heh...Anyway I better get that echipment..."

And with that Linguine fled the fuming Tomido to go and collect his echipment…would that be potato or tortilla?...or whatever they call chips in Europe?

Anyway, Linguine got his frozen dessert (I guess it's shaped to be a sharp weapon?) from the Forest Tasting Center, and his aromatic, green, jagged-edged leaf (I don't see how you could defend yourself with one, but oh well) from the local slop-keeper.

He then returned to Tomido to demand passage...Oh yeah, and to _get_ passage.

"If you want to seed the Great Tofu Tree, you should at least echip a sorbet and shiso!" declared Tomido. "Eh, what's that?! Oh, you have a Tofu Shiso...And what's THAT?! Is that the Coke©iri Sorbet?! GOOD GREASE!! Well, even with all that stuffing, a whip is still a whip, huh? I, the Great Tomido, will never eggcept you as one of us! Fruit! How did you get to be the flavorite of Saria Mist© and the Great Tofu Tree? Huh?! Grumble...grumble..."

And with that, Tomido FINALLY got out of the way! Sheesh! Shiso Sheesh!

Linguine then proceeded to enter the Great Tofu Tree's meadow…


End file.
